So, I am moving today

I am moving into my friend Jon's place for a couple of months, staying with him for the month of October and then watching his place while his in Holland for December. I am really looking forward to this. If I can clean all of the cat fur out of his apartment (he was watching his girlfriends cats while she was in Holland) then this will be an almost ideal situation, I have not crashed on anyone's couch in almost seven years, but this will give me a chance to head my life in a new direction.

This last couple of months all seem to have been about changing the course of my life, to take a look at the things that have been haunting me for many a year, and then dealing with them. I keep wondering why everything is coming down now, why things that are totally unrelated keep happening to me. I won't bother going too much into specifics, but everything including someone getting a hold of my credit card info and racking it to it's limit, has happened.

The nice thing about it is that, except for points of irrational panic, I have been dealing with it all. More importantly though I have been learning how to deal with it differently, and I think healthily. I have had to rely on the support of friends (and I thank you all) and I am not very good at that. I don't like to ask for things, I grew up believing that that made you a burden and therefore you should be ashamed of yourself for it. For awhile I got into a destructive cycle, on welfare and feeling ashamed of it, doing everything I could to help everyone around me, whether they deserved it or not, because it would alleviate my shame. The only problem being that that only put me in my hole deeper and I would stay on welfare longer because I could not afford to get off of it. It became a crutch. I eventually got off the system and stayed off, but I have made similar mistakes since, not the same but similar. I am hoping that this time I can change the pattern permanently. I want to change not only the things I do but also why I do them. I want make all those little things I have learned over the years into a new greater understanding, I like the realizations that I have come to.

Now I want to make them into a new outlook. Wish me luck.

Ok, Yoga is awesome!

I know I just posted about Moshka Yoga earlier, but I have to say it is even better than I said earlier. I have a job interview tomorrow with CIBC as a credit councilor. I really want to work there. I have a really nice pair of slacks that look great, and I would like to wear them to the interview. The only problem is that I tried them on before Briana moved out and I had put on enough weight that they barely fit me and looked horrible. I just put them back on hoping I could somehow manage it, because I really want this job, and low and behold they fit, and fairly well too, not perfectly but I think better than when I bought them.

I love Moshka Yoga. I love to sweat at fantastic rates, and have my body fit into clothes that I was only keeping because it might spur me on to working out, and really because I am too cheap to throw away beautiful clothes. Not loving the soreness, but hey if that is the price of looking good and feeling better, then I am willing to be it's punching bag for a week.

Yoga and Dancing, maybe not the greatest concept

Ok, I bought a one week pass to Hot Yoga in yaletown, they have a special on for $20. It has been an interesting experience as I have not been exercising much in the last couple of years and my flexibility is down and my muscle strength although good is put to major test by this. I noticed today btw that I have lost a size in two days of yoga, as I have not worn these pants since Saturday and they were fitting well before now they slide off me. I like that feeling.

Now on to my discovery.

Part One: Moshka Yoga dehydrates you quickly, and I mean quickly, 104 degrees will drain everything out of you fast. I strongly suggest a liter and a half of water with you and I am going to start drinking more before I show up. You will sweat in ways that you never thought possible and it will make you think you are in the Gobi with your own personal trainer trying to get you ready for the next Olympics. Its insane and I love it.

Part Two: Going dancing at Celebrities on Tuesdays for Stacked night, the music is anything from the last 30 years, and that includes a lot from today as well. I am most happy with the night plus they had Peaches who is a pro DJ there last night all for $5 and $2 hi-balls. Now I dance hard when I dance, I love to sweat (can you tell from my choice of yoga), it makes me feel like I am achieving something. Besides I love the feel of how strong my muscles get and how flexible I can get. Note to self must go dancing more, is good for my soul.

Problem occurs when you mix part one with part two, I drank several liters of water yesterday both at yoga and at Celebrities, I may have drank more when I got home I do not remember, I do remember just drinking a coke as well. I woke up this morning so sore and dehydrated that I have drunk another liter of water and still feel thirsty but now I am sick of water. It is not right. And to top it off I only got two or three hours of sleep.

All this being said, I strongly suggest either of these activities or better yet both just on different days.

Now I am off to do another day of yoga, I am cheap and have Scottish heritage to back it up and I am going to get the most out of my week long pass.

Sexy Laundry

I went to see this play on Wednesday, Sexy Laundry, courtesy of Jason. Thank you, btw. It was pretty decent, the premise is the age old problem of lust dying off on one side or another of a long term (25 years in this case) relationship. The fire had gone out of their relationship, one side recognized this and wanted to change it and the other was pretty much happy with the status quo. The story ensue from there.

I would have to say that it got 3.5 - 4 stars out of five, my only issue with it was that the dialogue and apparent thought patterns seemed ten years out of date, as in I would have expected those kinds of thoughts in an older couple ten years ago but now I would have expected a different more flexible way of looking at it. But the dialogue at points was very tight and the situations were amusing and the audience really enjoyed it (I am by nature very critical of play and movies, although I do love my sappy love stories). I would recommend it, with the caveat that if you have a very open and relaxed life style then you won't get much out of it, unless you are thinking of your parents.

Personality tests

Briana posted about this which she found via Chandrasutra.

Now I usually don't do these, only when friends suggest them, but secretly I love doing them. I love to know whether or not they got anything right or if the shysters, and secretly I want to be understood, just like eveyone else. So I took the test and ended up with two versions like everyone else, and it said the second would be more accurate, but I don't know about you guys but I found that the first one seemed to represent more where I am now and the second more where I was 4 months ago. Now it could be because so much of my life is in a state of flux right now, or it could be because I had just finished emailing a friend of mine about where I wanted to go with my life, and then the test asked me to think of anything else and I cannot remember what I thought of but it was something from the past so maybe that is why it ended up the way it did. But here it is with the section that I consider to be my past first and the future second.

Your Situation

Imaginative and sensitive, you seek an outlet for these qualities, especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.

This has always been true of my life.

Your Stresses

You have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties. You feel overtaxed and getting nowhere, but continue to stand your ground and still you pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. This subjects you to intolerable pressure from which you want to escape, but you cannot bring yourself to make the necessary decision. As a result you remain firmly involved in the problem and can neither view it objectively nor get rid of it. You cannot leave it alone and you feel you will only be at peace when you have reached your objective.

This is/was very true about my life, I am not sure if it can still be said, but then again there is always some nugget of truth in a statement like this.

Your Desires

You strive for a life rich in activity and experience, and for a close bond, offering sexual and emotional fulfillment. You pursue your objectives with intensity and do not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose.

Yeah this is pretty much bang on.

Your Problems

The fear that you may be prevented form achieving the things you want leads you to play with an urgent and hectic intensity.

Once again pretty much on.

Part two:

Your Situation

The existing situation contains critical or dangerous elements for which it is imperative some solution be found. This may lead to sudden, even reckless decisions. You are self-willed and reject advice from others.

I would have to say this is my situation now, I have a lot of things to work out and I am trying not to jump to too many hasty decisions so gotta give them A for this one.

Your Stresses

The existing situation is disagreeable. You have an unsatisfied need to ally yourself with others whose standards are as high as your own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Your control of your sensual instincts restricts your ability to give yourself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow yourself to merge with another. This disturbs you, as such instincts are regarded as weakness to be overcome: you feel that only by continued self-restraint can you hope to maintain your attitude of individual superiority. You want to be loved or admired for yourself alone; you need attention, recognition and the esteem of others.

Not sure about this part, it is partly right but partly wrong, all depending on how you look at it.

Your Desires

You seek affectionate satisfying and harmonious relationships. You desire an intimate union in which there is love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust.

Once again they got it right.

Your Problems

You want to be valued and respected, and you seek this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

Yup

So try it if you like, and some definitely won't but I enjoyed this.

The Yes Men

Ok, when I saw the trailer for this movie I thought this could be ok, or it could be just too stupid. I saw it last night at the Granville 7 theatre, in the smallest theatre that they had, and only maybe 50 people showed up, maybe 50. Now I am certain the next theatre could hear us whooping it up and howling with laughter, we couldn't even hear the movie at points. I have not laughed that hard since mean girls, the entire audience was in an uproar, it was great. The movie those who don't know is a documentary, which is more a satire about the economy of the world today than a tragedy about the economy of the world today. The economy is a tragedy, but it is good that someone can poke holes in the serious people who cause that tragedy.

I will probably be seeing this movie again in the near future as it put a bounce in my step that I really enjoy.

Damn fun party

I went to Briana's birthday party last night, and it was great. I am hoping that she doesn't have any problems with her landlords cause it got pretty loud, but those plaster walls do an amazing job of keeping sound out. But then the party overspilled into lobby downstairs so that people could smoke and that's when the noise really was noticeable. I don't know what they insulated that building with but out in the hallway you could barely hear that the music was blaring and everyone was raising their voices, hope it was the same in the next suites. I guess we will find out soon.

Anyways, I would have to say the party was a success, lots of old friends showed and everyone seemed to have a good time, including Ray who as always was incredible glowing with good energy, and last night, a ton of booze. That man loves to do the chicken dance. If you don't know ask Briana I am not sure how to describe it. I had a lot of fun talking to people, it was good, it was really awesome to meet some of the people that she had talked about. Thanks folks for a lot of fun, you really rock. Hope to talk to you all again sometime soon. Leave your emails actually, I would love to talk to you all.

Boobie-athon

Briana left this link up on her website and I thought it was great. Just the amount of people who posted pictures of themselves was amazing. It really is a good way to raise money for charity and I hope they succeed in beating last years total. Just thought I would suggest that people see it as well.

catch it soon.

I did not move

I just realized that I have not mentioned the fact that I have not moved. The place with the girl did not work out, she started to get a little too forceful, and started giving me attitude, which for the price I would be paying to live with her I might as well be living on my own, it would be almost cheaper. And easier, and less stressful, and ... well so many other things. Or maybe with my friend Ray, but that's all in the air right now.

So I am staying at my old place for however long it takes me to find a new job and a new apartment and my landlords have agreed to charge me for only the amount of time that I stay here. Briana offered to loan me half the rent so that I did not have to move back to my parents place, which I am eternally grateful for. Not sure I like living here now, it feels too big, and empty. But I am not at my parents place and I have a chance of starting over somewhere new. I have amazing friends, not just Briana either, Bob and Rachael have offered me their spare room and if it weren't for the bunnies I would, actually everyone has offered me their couch, spare room or otherwise and I am overwhelmed by the love. So I would like to say thanks here to everyone. Thank you, might heart is lighter because of your love.

Packratting

I thought I would start a new post about this cause Christian's comment got me talking and I realized that this was something I wanted to post about.

At 9:43 PM, Christian said...

I have more clothes than I know what to do with... but even so, it's like three, maybe four boxes. and I wear the same six or eight shirts over and over again. two pairs of jeans. twelves pairs each undies and socks. I also do laundry on a regular basis...I don't throw out clothes very often because I don't buy new clothes very often... wear stuff until it's threadbare.but I am a horrible packrat. I keep all sorts of useless shit. just not so much on the clothes...

Yeah, I have to say I do pretty much the same thing, I am going to have to try and change that aspect of my personality. Mostly it came from constantly feeling like I did not have enough and that someone might take it away from me, and that I should try and impress people with how much I have. Unfortunately my mother raised me on stories of how wealthy her family is and it tainted my world view, I always have felt that I had to have more things and better things to prove my worth. More books, more movies, more stuff. That started to change with Briana, we had many things that were worth something, I started to realized that my worth was not valued on those things, I did not even use them much, and suddenly I did not need as much to fill that insecurity. But it wasn't until Briana got ready to move and we started throwing things out that I realized how much junk I had been hoarding over the years and damn did it feel good to get rid of so much of it. Still tempted to get rid of more but I think I will have to wait til I get a place to move into and see how much I still need and want.

Shaun of the Dead

Now everyone has probably already seen this but I thought I should post about it aswell. Saw it last night, funny movie, some of the gore was a little grim but overall a good movie, very dramatic at points, and you can feel the character's pain (or atleast I empathized with them). I liked it overall and would give it 4.5 out of 5 .... might even give it a 5 just for originality, and for playing on earlier jokes to give a feeling of continuity and solidity to the characters. I recommend it to anyone not a child and hope you enjoy it.

Caffeine? Did not realize how it affected me.

I have not had coffee in 5 days now. Not since Bree moved out. I have not felt like having any and have just gotten up and gone about my business in the mornings. Now Chelsea mentioned that I might like to to try a spot of tea, as a more relaxing way of dealing with my beverage needs.

Now I figured "I like tea, that is a great idea", I had a cup of Camomile last night and that was good, and when I got up this morning I had a cup of Orange Pekoe. Then I started to notice that I was getting the jitters and my stomach was starting to get queasy. That's when I realized that it was the tea, I was getting more caffeine than I have had in awhile, and my body was not liking it too much. This is so weird, I'm not sure what to do, I mean do I go back to drinking coffee, just stick to tea, or give it all up? I am tempted to see how my personality deals with being just normal and un-stimulated. I am still drinking coke on occasion, but not as much as I used to.

Give me your opinions, I would love to know what you think.

Well, purging mostly complete

I have purged an immense quantity of things plus 13 bags of clothes and then there is just the miscellaneous garbage, and I feel so much better now. Just had to say that. Still might clear out some more though. 8)